I am a Nobody

The real me knew nothing, it was only a kid. I stayed far away from that kid. He was more of a monkey.

I was right at the top of the ladder, everyone respected me. I had done well in life, I was definitely a Somebody, a force to reckon with, whereas he was a Nobody.

What could I do with the Nobody in me? He made me sad. It was demeaning to be with him. I didn’t want to ever think about him and that’s why I tried to remain busy. I had much to do. I travelled, met and talked to many important people. Thank God I was never alone, otherwise that fool would keep bothering me. No wonder they say that an empty mind is the devil’s workshop.

Oh God! He was the devil. At night when I rested my head on a pillow, he bothered me by pervading my thoughts. I just could not get rid of him. I had sleepless nights. He was responsible for the dark circles under my eyes.

Then came a time when the world economy slowed down and the capital goods industry was hit tremendously. We all had to work 24/7 for mere survival. This took a heavy toll on me.

My age old cervical spondylosis resurfaced. The nerve on the left side of the neck was completely blocked and I had to get it pressed hard by a novice therapist. When it opened suddenly, the rush of blood caused a sharp pressure-drop, resulting in a stoppage of oxygen supply to my brain. I was completely breathless.

I panicked because this would result in paralysis or death. I wondered what would happen to my family and to others dependent on me. This anxiety made me surrender to the inner me, the Nobody.

Nobody took over. He said that I was responsible for others being dependent on me. After me, they would be better off independent. This gave me a sense of relief. I smiled, the pressure had vanished. Nobody commanded me to action, asking me to count my last breath. I did so, taking my time. I took another breath and then one more. The pace slowly increased. I realised that because I was no longer anxious, the pace had increased until it became normal.

I was put on oxygen and taken to an ambulance on a stretcher. Soon, my condition was normal, as if nothing had happened.

Today I am fitter than ever before. All this because I learnt a lesson by understanding my soul, the Nobody and its powers. On consulting an astrologer, I was told that my horoscope for that fateful day and time predicted a Maran Tulya Kastha (death-like experience).

As a result of this experience, the Somebody in me stands defeated. It has surrendered to the Nobody who had always been at daggers drawn with me. Apart from looking fitter and younger, I have adopted a positive approach to life. I now understand the meaning of surrendering our problems to God, the God within.

The real me is not a person, a Nobody

I am the important one, I am Somebody

Peer pressure will give me a false identity

The tussle within me will pull us down with gravity

While Somebody is full of complexity

Nobody makes you believe in simplicity

When Somebody creates problems that magnify

Nobody takes up those problems to simplify

If both of these must co-exist

One of them ought to virtually exit

While Nobody is faceless, without limit or restraint

For Somebody to be so, must be a criminal or a saint

Logic and passion in me are together

Like joining my hands in surrender

When my Somebody and Nobody merge

My energies amplify, I grow, I surge

The outer world is ruled by Somebody

But the inner world is ruled by Nobody

Discipline is the credo of the outer world

Whereas purity is the strength of the inner world

Your conscious, the Somebody, lives in the outer world

Whereas Nobody, your subconscious resides in the inner world

Somebody has all the concern

But Nobody will never yearn

Attachment is due to insecurity and is mind driven

Whereas pure love is causeless and is heart given

The mind is Somebody and the soul Nobody

The two will add up to make me Everybody

Nobody is your soul, heart, free-mind, inner-self or whatever you may call it. It resides in the right side of the brain, which is home to emotions, intuition, creativity, art, music, purity, faith, passion, illogical logic and the abstract. It is beyond worldly influence.

Somebody is your mind, the controlled mind or your outer self. It resides in the left side of the brain which accounts for logic, language, reasoning, analysis, maths and discipline and caters to worldly requirements.

The storage of memory and the control centre of all bodily functions is in the central part of the brain.

Power, that we hanker for, is not about controlling, but about being controlled by yourself.

The mind blocks the unconventional to remain in control, not realising that being free-spirited yields significant benefits.

A master is one who can effortlessly alternate between a free mind and a controlled one.

Author: Tapan Ghosh
Film maker, writer, thinker, rolled into one The creative me is a lot of fun. What you see here are my expressions true I hope they strike a chord within you.


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